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Joke of the Day

"I've started a new religion based on the consumption of high-percentage alcohol. Its only downside is that I now miss a lot of work due to hangovers It's called absinthe-theism."

Next Joke
 
"They say that if you are bad in this life, you re-encarnate into a 'Nickelback' song in the next one."
"NSFW, What did Hitler say to the black Jew? GET TO THE BACK OF THE OVEN!"
"I got thirsty on the ride to the carnival But the punch line was impossible to find."
"[First date] ""Ok. Don't let her know you're just 40 squirrels in human clothes"" ""You said that out loud"""
"An infinite number of Sean Murray walks into to a bar and gets a refund."
"Christy's husband wants to get divorced. ""No way, John!"" says Christy. ""Widow you took me, widow you leave me!""."
"If Trump wins, I think I may know what will happen to New Mexico [Removed]"
"[crime scene] *detective snaps pics of murder victim* Corpse: delete it"
"Damn girl, you remind me of my mother! /* indistinguishable sobs *"