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Joke of the Day

"My coworker and I have the same job title with the same number of years experience. He was pissed when he found out my salary was only a fraction his. Turns out that fraction is 2/1"

"I was wondering why the frisbee in the distance was getting bigger Then it hit me"

"What's the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chickpea? I wouldn't pay money to have a garbanzo bean on my face."

"Her: are you single? [flashback to 2011 where I tried to kiss a girl but she turned away and I kissed her cheek] Me: haha idk"

"Girlfriend gone and no Internet. Just jerked off to Halo menu screen music."

"I like .... Every knows I like my kids the way I like farmed chicken Caged I like my kids the way I like my wine 7 years old and in my basement Post some good ones in the comments"

"What do Indian flowers grow? Patels (this may or may not have been inspired by a dumb facebook post I saw)"

"Good Joke ..Not"

"I'm gonna make a photo editing type program that makes you look like a Hobbit and call it Frodoshop."

"Girlfriend: ""I'm pregnant"" Me: ""Really? Thats great."" GF: ""April Fo--"" *I'm already on a plane to a non extradition country*"