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Joke of the Day

"How can you tell if a parrot is intelligent? It speaks in Polly-syllables!"

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"I remember that one time, before Twitter, when I went outside and did shit."
"Detective: How did you get into counterfeiting? Criminal: I answered an ad that said ""Make money at home."""
"I farted in an Apple Store Not my fault they don't have Windows"
"If a gym has 75 treadmills, 1 is being used, what do you do? You go home because it's your favorite one being used Math is easy"
"No matter how many times I call the hospital to complain, they won't recall my baby."
"Photos: World's tallest man meets world's shortest man"
"It's an old true fact that girls like bad boys so don't text them back real fast and when you do say you were in a time out."
"Trampolines used to be called jumpolines Until your mother jumped on one back in 87"
"Every store should have one line for people who have their shit together."