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Joke of the Day

"[murder scene] Snail detective 1-He left a decent trail SD2- Let's track him down *10 hours later* SD1-Damn that guy is fast"

"Good thing girls started uploading pictures next to a pool with the caption ""Summer is finally here!"" or we wouldn't have known it's summer."

"Are candles happy or sad when they are put out? They are delighted."

"Today I asked ""Where do you get off"" while quarreling with my girlfriend. She replied ""In your bed."" Quarrel over."

"What's the difference between the Seahawks and a cheap hooker? The hooker won't choke on six inches."

"A Blind Fish What does the blind fish say when it hits a wall? DAM!!!!"

"Two medical students are about to witness an autopsy for the first time... One asks the other, ""What do you think it'll be like?"" The other student shrugs and says, ""Remains to be seen""."

"I've been eating a lot of eggs lately.. I must be on an egg roll."

"Finders, Keepers I saw this cool mine selling shop in Iraq."

"I love long romantic walks to the fridge. That's how I maintain my curves "