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Joke of the Day

"Good thing girls started uploading pictures next to a pool with the caption ""Summer is finally here!"" or we wouldn't have known it's summer."

"I'd like to thank my hands... I'd like to thank my hands for always being at my side, my legs for supporting me through thick and thin, and my fingers... Because I can always count on them."

"Roses are Dead, Violets are Dead I am a bad gardener"

"On the anniversary of Harambe's death... the Cincinnati Zoo should have special deals all day. Discounts for Harambe."

"Most of my time is spent trying to work ""That's So Raven"" into everyday conversation."

"Why can't ghosts have babies? Because they have hollow-weenies!"

"real men.. [twitches uncontrollably] don't hi- [""real man"" skin suit falls off revealing fake man who was the one doing bad stuff all along]"

"OMG!! I made a science Joke. What did the German small intestine say when you asked him if he would go to the party? -Vill i?"

"Relationship advice on /r/relationships User: So my boyfriend and I... Adviser: Dump him."

"Being an aspiring musician is like getting a contract with Verizon. 10 gigs for $80 a month"