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Joke of the Day

"Today I asked ""Where do you get off"" while quarreling with my girlfriend. She replied ""In your bed."" Quarrel over."

"Videogames ruined my life... ...but at least i have two more"

"What did the bra say to the hat? ""I've got these two covered, you go on a head."""

"You can't run from your problems forever. Eventually, you'll have to take a car or a plane to really avoid them."

"schrodinger's joke. It's funny and not funny at the same time, until you tell it to someone."

"Everyone...I've got Tom Jones syndrome.... I wouldn't say it's common, but it's not unusal."

"What do you get when you put 28 Alabama Sorority girls in one room? A full set of teeth"

"Why would you be scared to get Ebola? You haven't left your couch since 2011."

"Charm me with your beauty and intelligence or just wait till I'm really drunk."

"Seven year old brother hit me with this one Him: How do people look at the internet? Me: How? Him: With their google-y eyes"