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Joke of the Day

"What do you do if you break your arm in two places? Don't go back to those two places."

"A favorite at parties To a large group: ""What do you say to a man with a one inch penis?"" ""How's it going, [name of group member]?"""

"Based on my calculations I can retire about 5 years after I die."

"As I approach 50, my wife suggested I get myself one of those high performance penis enlargers... So I have. She's 25 and her name is Candy."

"In order to understand your enemy, you must walk a mile in his shoes. If he's still your enemy after that, at least he's a mile away and hasn't got any shoes."

"How does a witch make scrambled eggs? She holds the pan and gets two friends to make the stove shake with fright."

"Why do New Zealanders have so many furry conventions? Because they're kiwis."

"What's better than winning gold at the special Olympics? Walking"

"I really love the way the earth rotates... It makes my day."

"I've been doing a lot of work around my yard, I hope my neighbours don't take a fence to it."