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Joke of the Day

"In order to understand your enemy, you must walk a mile in his shoes. If he's still your enemy after that, at least he's a mile away and hasn't got any shoes."

"Parents, stop giving your kids these crazy names. I just found a love letter my son wrote to a girl named ""Steven!"""

"Enrages me when I see guys using cute dogs to pick up chicks. It's like, why did I have kids."

"You know I think Fight Club is pretty underrated. Nobody talks about it these days"

"True story I was listing all the TV shows I like to a friend. When I got to ""Psych"", he thought I was just kidding about all the previous shows."

"When my kids are bad I take them out to the woodshed and tell them a bunch of boring stories about the people at my work"

"The real reason women will never be the ones to propose: As soon as she gets on her knees, he will start unzipping his pants."

"There was a baby boy born at the hospital without eyelids. So the doctors circumcised him and used his foreskin as eyelids. He's doing fine, he is just a little cockeyed"

"50 cent is so bankrupt... that he might be livin' on the streets in a lil' biiit!"

"The ladies call me ""Tarzan"" in bed... ... because my sexual adventures are all in [Vines.](http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vine_%28service%29)"