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Joke of the Day

"In order to understand your enemy, you must walk a mile in his shoes. If he's still your enemy after that, at least he's a mile away and hasn't got any shoes."

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"People always go, ""Why can't there ever be peace in the Middle East?"" We can't even get FIVE DENTISTS to agree on a toothpaste. That's why."
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"I saw a crazy squirrel today.. He was fucking nuts."
"Two Terrorists walk into a bar Bartender says ""What can I ge"""
"I won't beheading to Iraq anytime soon"
"I wish there was an observation deck at WalMart."
"My most pretentious joke. Knock knock. Who's there? To. To who? To whom."
"[baby takes its first steps] me in a cop outfit: not even close to a straight line buddy, you're going away for a long long time."
"I looked into a blonde's eyes but all I saw was the back of her head!"