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Joke of the Day

"Why is Justing Bieber like a shotgun? Give him a cock and he will blow!"

"Why do Scottish men wear kilts? Sheep can hear a zipper a mile away..."

"""When I think of you, there are some capital gains in my pants."" - sexy accountant pickup lines"

"Why you should definitely visit the Grand Canyon... Well... it's just plain *gorge*-ous"

"Sex is like pizza. My wife won't let me have it until I lose weight."

"I bet a lot more people would read the Bible if it was called The Adventures of Jesus and Friends."

"Limerick I made about reddit. Spammer would always post to reddit Upvotes he would always get it Always posting for more He was a Karma whore In the end OP was a faggit"

"An astronaut in space was asked by a reporter ""How do you feel?"" ""How would you feel"" the astronout replied ""if you were stuck here on top of 20000 parts each one supplied by the lowest bidder?"""

"I've just received my 14th Christmas card from the Alzheimer's Society."

"Q: What did the judge say about the man shot twelve times by the police? A: The most horrific suicide scenario I have ever heard of."