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Joke of the Day

"Q: What did the judge say about the man shot twelve times by the police? A: The most horrific suicide scenario I have ever heard of."

"Dentist: ""You don't need to open your mouth any wider. When I pull your tooth I expect to stand outside."""

"What kind of computer says ""Hello""? A Dell"

"What do you get when you squish a synagogue? Jews"

"I needed to clean my FleshLight, i heard they were dishwasher safe. But that would Just ruin the load."

"World's shortest mathematical joke Let 0"

"Eating at a T.G.I. Fridays on a Monday tastes like lies."

"A priest and a rabbi... A priest and a rabbi see a young boy. Priest: ""Let's fuck him."" Rabbi: ""Out of what?"""

"So I studied abroad in college... She never called me back though."

"When I die... I just want 2016 to be my pallbearer, so it can let me down one last time."