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Joke of the Day

"Beer is so smart that if you drink enough, right around your midsection, it builds a shelf for you to rest bottles on."

"6 more days, guys.. That's December 26. The day everybody puts their shitty Xmas gifts on Ebay so poor people, like me, can buy them!"

"What did Luke say at Han and Leia's wedding? May divorce be with you"

"What's long, hard, and has cum in it? Cucumber you nasty bastard"

"Once an American asked a Mexican.. ""What separates dogs and Mexicans?"" The Mexican said, ""A border""."

"The worst part about the measles outbreak at Disneyland was still the price of admission."

"This crunchy cat food tastes a lot like I just poured from the wrong packet into my cereal bowl."

"A man goes to a doctor for a check up. The doctor asks him if he has any sexually transmitted diseases. To which the man replied, ""Yes. I have two children."""

"Instead of a flower girl, I want a parmesan boy to sprinkle cheese down the aisle at my wedding"

"When I die, I want to go out like my Grandfather... in his sleep... Not like the other passengers in his car!"