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Joke of the Day

"When I punish my future kids I wont just take their phone I'm gonna be them on social media & just comment ""nice"" on everyones old pool pics"

"Why can't siamese twins be trusted to render fair judgments? Because they're always partial. I'm so sorry."

"With the rape allegations against Cosby... I guess we know what he meant by pudding pops. (I just made this up. Sorry if it's been posted.)"

"What do you call it when whales form a band. An Orcastra."

"How much is the price of sex in New Zealand? About $20 a kilo."

"People think having crabs is a bad thing. Still, at least something's sucking my cock."

"How many therapists does it take to change a lightbulb? One, but he/she has to want to change."

"So what happens to the pizza at the end of a porn film?"

"What is a water bottle's favorite game to play? Follow the litre."

"How do you pick up a Muslim girl? Piece by piece"