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Joke of the Day

"Proof that getting kicked in the nuts is worse than giving birth. Girls often say, yeah I'd have another baby. Guys never ask to get kicked in the nuts again."

"What kind of bus can cross the ocean? A Columbus."

"What's the affirmative response to a Jamaican mother? Yeah mom!"

"Usually chocolate makes me hyper but my dog ate a pack of Snickers and he's been asleep for hours. Haha wake up so we can play, little guy."

"I just put in new countertops in my kitchen... Granite, they're not marble, but still..."

"What does a musician use to build a house? A tuba-four"

"""Jesus take the wheel!"" I shout, but Jesus decided to pop out of the sunroof firing a machine gun at our pursuers instead."

"Bought some expensive neck cream. Directions say to apply it twice daily. If I slather it on every hour, I'll have the neck of a teen."

"I have used contact lenses my whole life... I can apply them with my eyes closed."

"My toddler puts his pants on just like everyone else. One arm at a time."