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Joke of the Day

"Bought some expensive neck cream. Directions say to apply it twice daily. If I slather it on every hour, I'll have the neck of a teen."

"Where do hipsters drown? the mainstream."

"What superhero would a (insert stereotype here) man be? Batman. Why? Because he can't go out at night without Robin!"

"A thief, a child molester and a priest walk into a bar He orders a drink"

"SEXY POTATO: Hey buddy, my eyes are up here, and over here, and down here, and around here and"

"How did the desk lamp store manager feel when thieves stole all his lightbulbs? He was delighted."

"What do you call four Mexicans in quicksand? Quatro cinco."

"Why did the cosmonaut forget to pack extra underwear? Because he was Russian."

"What's cold and comes in April? Her dad."

"you used to call me on my nokia phone"