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Joke of the Day

"men r from mars , women r frm venus , neither are capable of reproducton or space travel so species dies out [RECALIBRATE SIMULATION?] <Y/N>"

"A guy is out to dinner with his wife... Wife: See that drunk guy at the bar? Guy: Yeah, what about him? Wife: He proposed to me 10 years ago, but I turned him down. Guy: Wow! He's STILL celebrating!"

"Why yes, I am watching a documentary about Marie Antoinette and enjoying it. Could it be because I'm straight fucking gangster? Perhaps."

"Q: Where do ghosts live? A: At the dead end."

"i wanted som fried chicken but i didnt have any chicken so i fried an egg adn waited a few years"

"Winter's coming so I'm knitting you a muffler. What size is your mouth?"

"Every now and then I see something that brings a little tear to my eye. Last night it was my wife wearing her strap on."

"Roy Hodgson has told the England squad that they'll have to tighten their belts next week. He also added that they should not remove them until the ""fasten seat belt"" sign goes out."

"Some gamers think that it's wrong to cheat... but i think its down right left triangle up square down left square right circle cross"

"How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? (None, they just beat the room for being black)"