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Joke of the Day

"I just met a girl named ellen she's the complete inverse of my e^(x)"

"Subway kid: Would you like your sandwich toasted? Me: No, I'm toasted enough for both us. In fact I'm kind of hoping it can drive me home."

"I was sitting next to a woman on a flight and asked her... >Does the airline company charge you for flying next to good looking men? She responded with >Yes, but this time I decided not to pay"

"Have you seen the one about the idiots with bad jokes? Yep, Reddit."

"They should make realistic pregnancy test commercials. 2 best friends in a bathroom praying for a neg & celebrating w a shot & a happy dance"

"When someone uses the bathroom and asks about the wine cork floating in the toilet is why I don't invite people to my house."

"Why don't hat store owners and pet shop owner get along? Because you can't be a fan of hat care and cat hair."

"Why is is called Holy Water ? Cause Holy God does it feel good when I use it to wash that alter boy's blood of my dick."

"Why do rednecks love fall? Because it's the only time of year they can pump kin."

"One vampire to the other : "" Let's go and have a drink.I know a cosy little mortuary just round the corner""!"