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Joke of the Day

"I was sitting next to a woman on a flight and asked her... >Does the airline company charge you for flying next to good looking men? She responded with >Yes, but this time I decided not to pay"

"Don't you hate it when you punch up the fuckline?"

"[giving mother in law my famous salad dressing recipe over the phone] 1 part vinegar, then *bites lip so I don't laugh* 2 parts baking soda"

"You never see a church with free wifi. I guess because no church wants to compete with an invisible power that actually works."

"I asked my Indian father for a PS3 He said ""No beta, it's pronounced PH.D."""

"Why can't fashion designers play uno? Because they always draw a cardigan."

"What's the difference between my ex and my toaster? It only takes 120 volts to turn on my toaster."

"[VERY RACIST-NSFW] So they get married... So a nigger and a Mexican get married, and both sets of their parents are afraid... THAT THEIR GRANDCHILDREN WILL BE TOO LAZY TO STEAL"

"What did the American Chef say to the Asian Chef? Take a wok."

"[Airport Bar] Me: I'll have a beer, please. Bartender: That'll be $45. Me: Worth it."