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Joke of the Day

"Why is is called Holy Water ? Cause Holy God does it feel good when I use it to wash that alter boy's blood of my dick."

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"My 4yo brought his Woody doll to the store and was swinging it around. I told him loudly to stop hitting people with his Woody. Parenting."
"A man with a gun shot his keyboard it typed POW"
"What did Beethoven do when he died? Decompose."
"[NSFW] A Jelly Baby goes to the Doctor... Jelly Baby: ""Doctor, Doctor, my penis has gone black."" Doctor: ""What have you been doing?!"" Jelly Baby: ""I don't know... Fucking allsorts!"""
"I accused the construction man for damaging my sidewalk. ""You are going to need concrete evidence if you want to prove me guilty"""
"A man walked into a bar And immediately lost the limbo competition"
"What causes dimples? Its how many times your dad poked you in the face when he was fucking your mom when she was pregnant with you"
"*places empty liquor bottle on shelf for display* I'm An Animal Now Everyone. I Decorate With Trash. Literally An Animal"
"Miley Cyrus's VMA preformance... Was so classless Karl Marx came in his grave"