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Joke of the Day

"I've been reading a book about anti gravity I just can't put it down!"

"How do you fix a Jack O Latern? With a pumpkin patch!"

"I always tell my kids to stay in school... but they keep fucking coming back."

"What did the accountant do when he was constipated? He worked it out with a pencil."

"Did you hear about Bill Cosby's latest victim? She was found 6 pills under"

"Does England have a Fourth of July? They do, they just don't celebrate it."

"Weird I always was a little different growing up. People are always coming up to me and asking me, ""Jay, why are you so odd, why are you so weird?"" Then I say, ""How the fuck do you know my name?"""

"What did the lesbian vampire say to her girlfriend? See you next month!"

"FedEx missed me and left a note saying I can pick up my delivery, but joke's on them -- I no longer have the strength to do anything at all"

"Hurt my back while sleeping last night in case you're wondering how I'd do running a marathon."