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Joke of the Day
"Alcohol makes me worse at everything except telling secrets."
Next Joke
"David had his ID stolen yesterday... So we call him Dav now."
"What's the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don't know and I don't care..."
"I came back from war to find out that I had missed the birth of my wife's second child. Turns out, I also missed the conception."
"You say ""my ex is stuck under the back end of your vehicle"" like its a bad thing."
"Made a hiking playlist earlier called trail mix It has a lot of eminem in it"
"What is the difference between a Mother and Wife? One woman brings you into this world crying and the other ensures you continue to do so."
"Two snare drums and a cymbol fall off a cliff... Ba-dum tchh!"
"Do Irish people make good optometrists? Eye!"
"What does a cell that's full of shit do? Lyse."