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Joke of the Day

"David had his ID stolen yesterday... So we call him Dav now."

"Jesus Christ! I forgot to buy dog food last night and now my dogs are playing a Sarah McLachlan album and googling humane society."

"What's the internal temperature of a tauntaun? Lukewarm."

"I hope Hell freezes over soon. A few women have promised me dates when it happens."

"In a recent football game, a player sustained injuries, and the manager was fired after sending on the wrong player to replace him. Whoops, wrong sub."

"What's better than winning a silver medal at the Paralympics? Being able to walk."

"A ginger, a brunette and a blonde in Hell Just kidding, how could a ginger go to hell without a soul?"

"What do call having to settle for buying corn? Compra maize."

"What does the sign at a nudist Buddhist beach say? No [Bhikkhunis](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bhikkhuni) allowed."

"I've got 99 problems, which really bothers me since I've also got OCD and I prefer even numbers."