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Joke of the Day

"*Makes sure the new girl at work sees how much pineapple I eat at lunch* *winks*"

"What do you call a moari terrorist? Geeee, hard!"

"Where did Ronda Rousey learn how to take a punch? Holm School"

"Maybe it's karma that I stepped in gum after all the times I've spit mine out on sidewalks. Didn't stop me from keying the nearest car."

"My girlfriend left me because I couldn't stop singing Linkin Park. I don't know why it made her so angry, but in the end, it doesn't really matter."

"Knock Knock. Who's there? 9/11. 9/11 who? I though you'd never forget."

"Never sit down in front of the computer while having breakfast because when you get up it'll be dinner time."

"Why did Princess Diana cross the road? She didn't wear a seatbelt."

"Hell hath no fury like a 4 year old whose sandwich has been cut into squares when he wanted triangles."

"Why did the clock get banned from the library? It tocked too much"