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Joke of the Day

"Sometimes I squirt mayonnaise across my breasts so I don't forget what it's like to have a boyfriend."

"""Let's go with a clown, a penguin, and a guy that tells riddles."" - The guy who came up with batman's villains."

"My mom still tells me not to talk to strangers. I'm 22 mom, I don't talk to strangers, I sleep with them."

"In the beginning there was nothing... Then God said ""Let there be light!"" And there was light. There was still nothing, but you could see it a whole lot better. Edit: Credit to Ellen DeGeneris."

"Need the most offensive team name possible for beer Olympics team. I believe in you Internet"

"I put the ____ in a much larger segment of _____________________."

"Don't study me,,,,you wont graduate!!"

"Some people may be brave enough to try to get into the milk business. Me? I wouldn't dairy."

"I don't like going to funerals early in the day. I'm not much of a mourning person."

"Why is the space between a woman's breasts and her hips called a ""waist""? Because you could easily fit another pair of tits in there"