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Joke of the Day

"It doesn't matter if I go to church or the gym as long as I can act superior later, right?"

"Brad Pitt was just telling my friend he liked me & then I woke up so it looks like the best part of my day is already bullshit & over."

"Why did ISIS invade Antarctica? They saw a documentary about penguins and thought the continent was full of devout Islamic women."

"There are only 10 type of people in this world... Those who understand binary and those who don't."

"People get easily offended these days. You can't even say black paint Instead you have to yell ""Jamall, paint my fence"""

"5 steps to a happy marriage: 1. Doritos 2. Oreos 3. Pez 4. Mr. Noodles 5. Oops this is my grocery list. 6. Still applicable."

"Would you guys buy Apple's new product for lumberjacks? iWood."

"Why did Mary Magdalen love Jesus? *Spreads arms* Because he was hung like this"

"Nice Confederate flag bro, way to commemorate coming in second place in a civil war."

"If I were a homeless guy, I'd walk up behind young women, put my arm around them & cop a feel on a boob because I have nothing to lose."