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Joke of the Day

"Nice Confederate flag bro, way to commemorate coming in second place in a civil war."

"When Leo said, ""To all my friends, you know who you are"" he was talking about the bear"

"I subscribe to Groupon because it's good to know which nearby restaurants have mediocre food & will probably be out of business soon."

"How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light-bulb? to get to the other side..."

"I heard reports of a white haired man in a strange outfit going around emptying his sack in children's bedrooms across the country. Which is crazy because I heard Jimmy Saville was dead."

"What's the difference between a white Jew and a black Jew? Black Jews have to get in the back of the oven."

"I usually meet my girlfriend at 12:59 Because I really like that one-to-one time."

"What did the philanderer say to the gardener praying in the shed? How do you stay faithful in a room full of hoes?"

"Why are giraffes' necks so long? Because their heads are so far from their bodies."

"How is marriage and CPR training the same? You get a certificate for showing you can do it and hope to god you never have to do it again"