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Joke of the Day

"5 steps to a happy marriage: 1. Doritos 2. Oreos 3. Pez 4. Mr. Noodles 5. Oops this is my grocery list. 6. Still applicable."

"Husband: Honey why are there broken condoms on the couch? Wife: Would you please call our children by their real names."

"What kind of fish is made of two sodium atoms? 2 Na!"

"What did the Chinese man say when Winter came around? Reddit snow, reddit snow, reddit snow!"

"I want to start selling arm prosthetics globally Because then I'll be an international arms dealer."

"Gang tip: If a rival gang tags their symbol on your turf, don't cover it. Add a drawing of Calvin peeing on it. Now who's stupid? They are!"

"Despite the rumors, I actually don't have a problem with the new $20.... This country has a long history of trading black people for other goods."

"What do you call a short cowboy? Subdude"

"How do you know your girlfriend is too young? She only puckers up for her pacifier."

"""Sorry I didn't reply to your email Terry, a wolf ripped my hands off... Oh these? Um, I got new hands? Gotta go!"""