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Joke of the Day

"I just swallowed my record player's needle and nothing's happened to me, nothing's happened to me, nothing's happened to me, nothing's happe"

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"Every time you say you're humble, I want to buy you a dictionary."
"Mid-'90s joke I just made up: Steven Tyler made a new version of Dude Looks Like A Lady... it goes ""Dude looks like his daughter!"""
"Porn If you can't join em,.beat it."
"Most of the jokes posted here are like gay muslims Beaten to death."
"""Name him Mufasa, it means ""king"" in Manazoto. And uh, we'll call HIM Scar. Because his face."" Simba's grandparents were the real villains."
"A Higgs Boson walks into a church and the priest shouts ""Hey we dont allow Higgs Bosons here!"" Higgs Boson replied ""But without me how can you have mass?"""
"My dog takes so long to take a dump I swear she's tweeting out there."
"Me: Help Universe: LOL"
"Scat and feces... Different names for the same shit."
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