21216

Joke of the Day

"My dog takes so long to take a dump I swear she's tweeting out there."

"I've had the clap so much that it's turning into applause."

"TIL reddit automatically change your password to asterisks whenever you type it in a comment."

"What do you call a tv show about female puberty? A Breasted Development"

"If your mom still washes your underwear, you're not allowed to have an opinion about anything."

"[nervously speeding up as I drive my date past a Taco Bell] SIRI: At frequent destination. Set this address as 'Home' address?"

"My toddler is learning to speak so I'm trying to teach him some phrases for social success. Things like ""true dat"" and ""pass the gravy."""

"Minnie asked Mickey Are you F*****g Crazy Mickey Replies 'No I'm F*****g Daisy"

"They say to never eat your own culinary creations. But I can't help myself, it takes 9 months to make my famous Baby Back Ribs."

"How do you embarrass an archaeologist? Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from."