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Joke of the Day

"A Higgs Boson walks into a church and the priest shouts ""Hey we dont allow Higgs Bosons here!"" Higgs Boson replied ""But without me how can you have mass?"""

"A Halloween Limerick A lady vampire named Mable Had a period that was awfully stable. So once a full moon She took out her spoon And drank herself under the table."

"My friend was in a terrible accident, and now has to breathe through a straw ...you could say he sucks at life."

"Maybe if women would quit playing games they'd worry less about competition"

"The three biggest lies in Wyoming... ""I won this belt buckle in a rodeo, my trucks paid for and I was just helping that sheep over the fence."""

"I've been working with NASCAR on redesigning the track for more variety, but it's tough I just can't seem to get it right"

"Why do they call it Black Friday? Because the prices are so good you are practically stealing."

"A man walked into a cafe in Mexico... ""Hello!"" he says to a squeamish waiter. ""Do you have any Mexican Jews?"" ""Hmm... let me check in the back"" the waiter replied. That's when the condom broke."

"Are you made of copper and tellurium? Because you're CuTe"

"Interviewer: I don't see a phone # for your reference Me: he is a duck I feed bread to at the park you will have to speak to him directly"