231133

Joke of the Day

"You do not want to see me before I've had my coffee! And I don't want to see you after, so now what?"

"Argument with a woman is like reading the Software License Agreement... . . . . . At the end, you ignore everything and click 'I agree'."

"Nothing's Ever Right by Mona Lott"

"Friend asks me to be her maid of honor: M-What do I have to do? F-Well I know you, so I'm expecting very little. Mission accomplished."

"You can tell a lot about a woman from her shoes If they're behind her ears, she likes you"

"What goes over the water, and under the water, but stays dry? Jesus in a submarine."

"Every night someone breaks into my house & dresses me for the next day. I guess I'd be more upset if it wasn't saving me time in the morning"

"What's the difference between Stanley Yelnats and the rest of the kids in Holes? He was just a nerdy digger."

"I lost 130 pounds of useless fat! Divorce is great!"

"If you commit 90 sins, u will get caught 45 times. Why? Because Sin 90 = Cot 45!"