6777

Joke of the Day

"Every night someone breaks into my house & dresses me for the next day. I guess I'd be more upset if it wasn't saving me time in the morning"

"In awkward situations I'll sometimes break out my braille version of Calvin and Hobbes. You know - comic relief."

"Little known fact: Arizona's state flower is pavement."

"What did the robot hit-man say to his robot victim? ""Nothing personal."""

"I wonder how many old people have died trying to cut open tennis balls to put on their walker."

"What's the difference between Barack Obama and a mark on a gift? One's a President and the other's a pressie dent. i'll see myself out."

"Of course I'm English. I'm the retard convict cousin you shipped off to Australia back in the day."

"Reception Did you hear about the two antennas that got married? The wedding sucked! But, the reception was AWESOME!"

"What do chinese people do when they have an erection? they vote"

"So I realized I have all these great stories, but far too few end with ""And then I fucked her...."" So anyways I was babysitting my little sister last night...."