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Joke of the Day

"It's hard to look like a badass when you're slurping on a strawberry smoothie."

"Anyone have a good recipe for ice cubes?"

"Knock Knock Who's there ? Annie! Annie who ? Annie-versary !"

"Son, there's only one thing in life to fear. [Car full of bears with machine guns drives by] Son, there are only two things in life to fear."

"[text from friend) Her: You doing okay? Me: Yeah I guess. Why, what have you heard?"

"No matter how much I try to buy those supermarket conveyor belt dividers... The cashier just keeps putting them back!"

"I'm trying to tell fewer dick jokes But it's really hard"

"What do you call a helicopter with no radar and no windows? A Helenkelicopter."

"What kind of railway is an Italian engineer's favourite? Funicula"

"Why are storm troopers so clingy? Cause no matter where you're at they'll always miss you."