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Joke of the Day

"Why are storm troopers so clingy? Cause no matter where you're at they'll always miss you."

"Where is the best place to hide a dead body? A cemetery"

"Around me, girls tend to lie when they're drunk... Especially on their back"

"Oscar Pistorius has sacked his legal team. He has now hired Celtic as he heard they lost both legs and still managed to win."

"I was at Ihop the other day... and there was a one-legged girl named Eileen working there."

"First cannibal: We had burglars last night. Second cannibal: Did they taste good?"

"What do Dale Earnhardt and Adolf Hitler have in common? They both died before finishing a race."

"If Donald Trump's Hair turns out to be a wig then... There'll be hell Toupee."

"What did the lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire? Same time next month?"

"When I killed a... When I killed a honeybee dad told me no honey for a week. When I killed a butterfly he said no butter for a week. Well mom just killed a cockroach, should I tell her for you?"