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Joke of the Day

"No matter how much I try to buy those supermarket conveyor belt dividers... The cashier just keeps putting them back!"

"What's an elephant's most sexual organ? It's foot. Because if it stands on you you're fucked."

"I don't think my blind date was blind, she read the menu and caught the basketball I threw at her"

"There are two types of people. Those who can extrapolate from incomplete data."

"While never officially canonized by a Pope, Saint Patrick is widely recognized as the patron saint of Slytherin."

"Are you a black hole? Because when I see you my legs get all *spaghettified*. *Courtesy of my friend*"

"*grabs your ankle from a storm sewer* if your barbie doll needs a hula hoop use an onion ring"

"Never trust a screw... ... They might turn on you!"

"Why wasn't Hitler invited to the BBQ? He always burns the franks."

"What's the difference between Geno Smith and a porn star? Nothing, they both suck dick. As a Jets fan it hurts to say. But it's been kind of true."