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Joke of the Day
"What do a horny guy and a bad driver have in common? They are both bad at pulling out."
Next Joke
"My favorite machine at the gym is the water fountain."
"I don't remember anything about being born, I must have been WASTED"
"My walk of shame is leaving a handicapped restroom stall while trying not to make eye contact with the wheelchair guy who was waiting on me."
"How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb? *Fish.*"
"Don't ever try taking off a penguin's little tuxedo. All that's under there is a dead penguin."
"I am so sorry to hear about your grandma... I know what you're going through my phone dies all the time."
"A vegan, a crossfitter, and an atheist are sitting in a bar. But you wouldnt know it, thanks to the Texan telling you all about Texas"
"Why are C programmers just the worst? They're classless."
"when fruit talks Broccoli: Hey, I look like a tree. Mushroom: Wow, I look just like an umbrella. Walnut: I look exactly like a brain. Banana: Man, can we change the topic please?"