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Joke of the Day

"A vegan, a crossfitter, and an atheist are sitting in a bar. But you wouldnt know it, thanks to the Texan telling you all about Texas"

"How can this cop expect me to show him my license when he took it away last month? What an Idiot."

"Why did the calf cross the road? To get to the udder side"

"Why do they print nutritional information on Snickers bars? If you don't know candy is bad for you, what are the chances you can read?"

"If only there were mosquito nets in Africa... We could save millions of mosquitoes from dying needlessly of AIDS."

"What sort of dance do fish do at parties ? The conga !"

"I think I'm going to sell my theremin I haven't touched it in ages..."

"What do you call a fish with diarrhea? A Pooper Grouper!!!!!"

"Do you know what my grandmother would be doing today if she was alive Scratching at her coffin"

"For valentine's day, I'm taking my wife to see ""50 Shades"". How long is the movie? I need to know what time to pick her up."