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Joke of the Day

"A vegan, a crossfitter, and an atheist are sitting in a bar. But you wouldnt know it, thanks to the Texan telling you all about Texas"

"If Trump divorces Melania while in office... Will she rule half the country?"

"Just heard that distinct ""baby fell out of the crib and into a pizza that was on the floor"" sound"

"________________________ With all the bad puns going around, I had to draw the line somewhere."

"I went out for Chinese last night, I told the waiter that the chicken was rubbery... He thanked me."

"6yo: Wow you look much better already daddy! Will you be able to have the stitches out soon? Taxidermist: He will not"

"Did you hear about the man with five penises? His pants fit like a glove."

"I'm thinking of starting a business will use free child labor in exchange for temporary housing. Although I don't know if I can compete with the Girl Scouts..."

"To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target."

"How do you turn a duck into a soul singer? You put it in the microwave until its bill withers."