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Joke of the Day

"*boss at staff meeting* Hey, do you have anything positive to add to this meeting? Yeah, I just realized I can sleep with my eyes open."

"What did Ryu say when he was taking a dump?... ""IMMM-DUKEN!'"""

"What do you call poor pasta? Spaghetto."

"What did god say when he created the first black man? fuck you"

"Why do Trumpler supporters think he's honest? He told them he would be ""fourthreich"" and they misheard."

"My standards for women are way too high You could almost say they're... Double standards"

"Just received a thank-you card from someone I sent a thank-you card to. Oh, it's on."

"Do you know; what is the best thing to put on a delicious cake? Your MOUTH!"

"A Thought About Posthumous Autobiographies They're all ghost-written."

"Twitter is the world's largest voluntary police lineup."