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Joke of the Day

"A Thought About Posthumous Autobiographies They're all ghost-written."

"Math puns are the first sine of insanity Title"

"Remember how they used to call Bill Cosby ""America's Dad""? No fucking wonder most of the country has daddy issues."

"Why is OP's dog never satisfied? They don't do liver"

"A lady came up to me one day and said 'Sir! You are drunk' to which I replied 'I am drunk today madam, and tomorrow I shall be sober but you will still be ugly. Winston Churchill."

"Did you like the movie yesterday? How is Jerry doing at school? It's a pity you broke up with Mark, he was OK. ""Do I know you?"" ""I follow you on twitter."""

"*lays down on memory foam mattress* mattress: remember that time you pooped your pants in 3rd grade? me: I regret buying you"

"Terrorists now have a brand new state of the art weapon that can be hidden in plain sight The Galaxy Note 7"

"what do you call a black man flying a plane? a pilot you fucken racist!"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! B-2 ! B-2 who ? B-2 school on time !"