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Joke of the Day

"Twitter is the world's largest voluntary police lineup."

"If women can do anything that men can do, then why haven't they ever suppressed an entire gender before? Its a joke lady's."

"Smoking is a slow death! But we're not in a hurry..."

"If you're in love with 2 people, pick the second one, If you really loved the 1st, you wouldn't have fallen for the 2nd."

"So Stephen Hawking walks into a bar... Just kidding."

"I'm the designated driver so it's mini bottles in the restroom for me"

"Why did the farmer name his pig ink? Because he kept running out of the pen..."

"What's the difference between your finger and a hammer? I don't know! Well you're not using my computer keyboard then!"

"Daddy what is a transvestite? -Ask Mommy, he knows."

"Why was the blind guy always so happy? He couldn't see any reason not to be!"