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Joke of the Day

"Twitter is the world's largest voluntary police lineup."

"Knock Knock Walter White: knock knock. Skyler : knock knock who? Walter White: I am the one who knocks."

"I buy all my guns from a guy named ""T-Rex"" He's a small arms dealer"

"The recipe said ""Set the oven to 180 degrees,"" so I did, but now I can't open it because the door faces the wall."

"I find giving things a thumbs down is a very negative response. I choose to be positive and give things the middle finger up."

"[at checkout counter] Would ya like to donate $1 to- -No But you didn't let me finish -Is it $1 toward you shutting your mouth? No -Then no"

"What do Stephan Harper and pennies have in common? They're both useless in Canada."

"A Pomeranian walks into a pomegranate convention, takes a second look at the flier and walks away disappointed."

"FB lesson number #1. If you don't want people meddling in your business, stop posting it on your status."

"Why did I throw my phone out of my window? Because I turned on airplane mode, and thought it would turn my Iphone into a plane..."