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Joke of the Day

"Me: My son totaled another car. Progressive: I see that you insure 3 teen sons? M: yes P: *covers phone* HEY GUYS, WE'RE GOING TO ARUBA!"

"Sarcasm: my second favorite -asm."

"Why do women have orgasms? Just another reason to moan really."

"Why did the baker have smelly hands? ...because he kneaded a poo."

"Q: Why couldn't the shoes go out and play? A: They were all tied up."

"Why did the mother cat pick up her kittens? She didn't want to litter"

"Son: Dad, I need some money! Dad: You should get a job at the StarBrites factory. Son: Why? Do they pay well? Dad: You kidding? ***You'll make a mint!***"

"What kind of apple isn't an apple? A pineapple."

"If cocaine were an old cranky man... He'd say ""blow me""!"

"My wife just cleaned out her purse. So, she'll be having a garage sale later this week."