100629

Joke of the Day

"Why is something that keeps you from burning your fingers on a joint called a roach clip? Because potholder was already taken"

"I asked a wise man about the secrets to success.. He explained ""There are two things in the world that you need to know to be successful. The first is never tell anyone everything you know"""

"[NSFU] Bill Gates' penis... What does his wife call it? Microsoft."

"The best way to get the woman of your dreams is to comment ""gorgeous"" on a minimum of 52 of her selfies."

"I donated $10 to Bernie's campaign Don't worry ladies, I also donated $7.80 to Hilary."

"Space may sound romantic... But I'd never take a date there; there's no atmosphere."

"Doctor: And did you drink your medicine after your bath Mrs Soap? Mrs Soap: No doctor. By the time I'd drunk the bath there wasn't room for medicine."

"Why is the number 6 always angry? Because 789"

"Did you hear about the guy who froze himself? I hear he is 0K!"

"My favorite Star Trek episode is that one where Captain Kirk saves the Klingons hundreds of dollars on hotel reservations."