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Joke of the Day
"A magician was driving down a street... then suddenly he turned into a driveway."
Next Joke
"Who called it ""wearing a monocle"" and not ""putting on a bit of a spectacle?"""
"So a Jew, a blonde, and a Narcissistic billionaire walks into a bar... Then the bartender says: These presidental elections are starting to seem like a joke."
"What's the difference between an egg and a root? You can beat a good egg"
"TIL that humanity's new form of communication is acronyms What does FTFY even mean? I swear to god people abuse acronyms so much."
"5 year old: Where does wind come from, daddy? Me: It comes from people asking too many questions."
"I had to break it off with my girlfriend. She wouldn't fake orgasms. I can't be with someone who doesn't care about my needs."
"Fitness coach: have you been exercising & doing push-ups? *Flashback to me running after the ice cream man & buying all the push-ups* ""yes"""
"Just got seen around town doing modern guy stuff like leaning on things, holding my phone & staring disapprovingly at nothing in particular."
"I do resistance training every day It's called refusing to go to the gym"