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Joke of the Day

"Just got seen around town doing modern guy stuff like leaning on things, holding my phone & staring disapprovingly at nothing in particular."

"What do you call a Private Investigator who is bad at his job? A Defective!"

"My sister had a threesome with two huge pornstars. Now she's not sure if she had a good time or not. Truth is, she's a little torn."

"How does the moon cut his hair? 'Eclipse it."

"Daily 'Facts About CHEESE' Fact About Cheese #3: ""String Cheese. Is not made of string."""

"Q: What did the snowman say to the other snowman? A: ""Do you smell carrot?"""

"I think Head & Shoulders should have a body wash line called Knees & Toes"

"What did Jay-Z call Beyonce after they got engaged? Fiancee."

"I was driving home today and got stuck behind a car with a bumper sticker that said ""Be an organ donor!""... They were doing 20 in a 30. I guess they aren't feeling that committed to the cause."

"Why doesn't anybody like feminist picnics? Because they never have any sandwiches."