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Joke of the Day

"Who called it ""wearing a monocle"" and not ""putting on a bit of a spectacle?"""

"My city was so poor growing up that Planned Parenthood was just a bicycle without a seat."

"What is Donald Trump most afraid of? That people will figure out he is a low energy, stupid, horse-fucking, cum-eating, rim-job giving fuckhead!!!"

"My ex just followed me on Twitter. That said: ""Say hello to Hitler for me, Mary."" *BLOCKED*"

"Went in for my checkup yesterday. Hernia & prostate exams are really uncomfortable, but he's a great dentist so I let it go."

"If you prefer a particular brand of bottled water, you should be sent away to a special camp."

"Why are there no good jokes about engineers? zzzzzzzzz, wait, I fell asleep at the punchline."

"One of the World's Strongest Man events should be ""Pulling apart two shopping carts that are stuck together."""

"Harambe walks into a bar. Bartender: What will you be having to drink? Harambe: I'll have just ice. Bartender: Just ice? Me: Yes, justice for Harambe."

"Twitter is awesome. You can have a boyfriend right in your phone. Available at all times. Unless his wife's around."