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Joke of the Day

"I had to break it off with my girlfriend. She wouldn't fake orgasms. I can't be with someone who doesn't care about my needs."

"I've started calling my penis ""Elbow"" Because it's hard, flexible, and it's rude to have it out on the table during dinner"

"Why are blowjobs referred to as ""giving head""? ... because it's the only way for women to get ahead in life."

"They were going to release a Chuck Norris edition of Clue, but the answer always turns out to be ""Chuck Norris. In The Library. With a Roundhouse Kick."""

"I always put in a full eight hours at work. Spread out over the course of the week."

"My girlfriend told me she's going to break up with me if I don't stop with these nosebleeds... So I tell her ""Hey, if you can find better tickets, YOU look for them!"""

"What book did the rabbit take on vacation? One with a hoppy ending."

"My girlfriend told me I was a pedophile I told her, ""that's an awfully big word for a six year old""."

"I felt super exhausted after giving blood. It's such a draining procedure."

"My girlfriend got her period last night while she was sleeping... In other news, I have a Japanese flag for sale now"