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Joke of the Day

"A man boards a plane. An attractive flight attendant walks towards the man and asks: ""Would you like some headphones?"" The man replies: ""Yes, but how did you know my name was Phones?"""

"What happens when you don't serve drinks at a party? There's no punch line."

"I support international women day! Because American women are so much less fun."

"How do Asians name their babies? They throw a drawer of silverware down the stairs and name it whatever sound it makes."

"The only B word you should be using to describe her is ""Beautiful."" Because bitches love being called ""beautiful."""

"*on the phone Him: where are you?! Me: I'm just waiting for the train Him: hurry up Me:...no problem. I'll be waiting faster"

"Jesus Sure jesus fed 2000 people with fish, but hitler made 6million jews toast."

"Happy Groundhog day, everyone!"

"Why was the lightning grilled on the stove? -To make heat lightning"

"You didn't come here to be insulted? Why? Where do you usually go?"