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Joke of the Day

"A man asks, ""God, why did you make woman so beautiful?"" God responded, ""So you would love her."" The man asks, ""But God, why did you make her so dumb?"" God replied, ""So she would love you."""

"Mumbling along to a song you don't really know...but that 15 second part you do know is coming up and you're gonna own that shit."

"I keep trying to convince my grandmother to get a hearing aid... But she just won't listen"

"What Do You Call IDubbbz When He is Angry? Osteoferocious!"

"""Is that a car alarm going off? Someone must be trying to steal it I better call the police!"" - literally no one ever"

"How do moms from West Virginia know when their daughters start their period? Their son's dick starts tasting like blood"

"When does a bed grow longer? At night, because two feet are added to it."

"I had to give away peeve, my Great Dane. But I don't really care because once he grew up he was my biggest pet peeve."

"the existence of groundhog implys the existence of skyhog, treehog, oceanhog"

"It's impossible not to look creepy whispering to a child"