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Joke of the Day

"A boy bought some Tesco burgers from the canteen, The dinnerlady asked what he wanted on them. The boy replied: ""I'll have 5 each way!"""

"a toast to wives...girlfriends and lovers... may they never meet..."

"Suddenly had the urge to lay on the floor and do stomach crunches. Then I found some bubble wrap and that urge went away."

"Why Do Jews Make Good Philosophers? They think that everything Israel."

"The speed at which you walk into the liquor store says a lot about you as a person."

"I used to have a job impersonating a German composer. Bach in the day!. (I take no credit for this - as I read it in a magazine)"

"Where should Aaron Hernandez have hidden the evidence? The Cowboys' endzone; because no one goes there"

"Great Britain has left the EU Now they have a GB of free space"

"What's the most dangerous animal in Africa? Black people. (Slightly Racist I know)"

"Me: I hope you pee your pants, teach you not to hold it in! My daughter: You shouldn't wish for that..you're the one that does the laundry!"