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Joke of the Day

"Soviet Monopoly ""Go to gulag! Go directly to gulag! Do not pass go, do not collect food stamps and vodkac"

"History Teacher: what ended in 1918 ? Student: 1917"

"THE ROOSTER ALSO CALLED A COCK LOVES THE KITTY WET THE CAT FALLS INTO A BUCKET OF WATER THE ROOSTER LAUGHS THE MORAL OF THE STORY IS A COCK LIKES A WET PUSSY."

"A man was arrested on Brighton beach today for throwing pebbles at the sea birds. He was accused of having left no tern unstoned."

"""Ma'am, please stow your laptop prior to takeoff."" ""This is my Emotional Support Computer."""

"Students are taking a sign language course. The teacher doesn't recognize one of them, and says ""Are you in this class?"" Student says, ""I'm auditing."" Teacher says, ""Then you're in the wrong class."""

"What did Saddam Hussein and Little Miss Muffett have in common? They both had Kurds in their way!"

"They say shoe size correlates with penis size... ...which makes getting raped by a clown that much more terrifying."

"[Jews being led out of Egypt] Woman: *mumbles* 40 years? He couldn't just stop & ask directions? Moses: WHO SAID THAT? NO MANNA FOR YOU!"

"Halfway through V for Vendetta... ...still waiting for Natalie Portman to evolve into Vaporeon."