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Joke of the Day

"A man was arrested on Brighton beach today for throwing pebbles at the sea birds. He was accused of having left no tern unstoned."

"Knock Knock ""Who's there?"" ""I am a pileup"" ""I am a Pileup who?"" ""Exactly...."" (Badum Tss)"

"Wrote this while waiting for a burrito in 2009 What's the difference between Helen Keller and Susan B. Anthony? One doesn't know her place, the other can't find it."

"Cop: Are you drunk or high on drugs? Me: No officer. Cop: Your pupils are dilated. Me: (Paranoid) WHA!, how'd you know I teach fat kids?!"

"I hope the Orioles keep up their winning streak, Baltimore has been on fire lately."

"I'd rather die than have an egg on my hamburger but to be fair I already sort of wanted to die"

"What does a blonde owl say? Why!"

"Porn: It's a load of bollocks."

"My sister told me she's dating an Irish guy I said, ""Oh really?"" She replied, ""No, O'Reilly."""

"What's the most unfortunate name a prisoner can have? Neil."